7 Strategies to Help You Deal With Negativity

If you are striving to be successful, and most of us are in some area of our lives, then it is important to surround ourselves with positivity. But many of us know that can be tough. It is amazing how often people can be negative. Often this is just what we don’t need, many of us have a part of our brain that can ‘do’ the whole negativity thing ourselves.

So what do we do when we are all fired up and excited about something and we find that those around us seem to revel in pouring the proverbial cold water on our plans, dreams and wishes?

1 – Accept them and where they are

There may be a whole host of reasons why those that you are close to can’t seem to get behind your plans, maybe they are jealous or resentful, maybe they are simply worried because they don’t want you to experience failure. But whatever their reasons you have to accept that their comments stem from where and who they are.  The important thing is to not let their negativity have an impact on your plans. That is not the same as having a reasoned discussion about pros and cons, where supportive friends may help you think about things from different perspectives, which can be helpful. This is about attitudes. Some people just seem to love to be negative.

 2 – Resist the urge to argue

This is not quite the same as a discussion, or even debate. An argument IS a discussion or debate but the term implies a degree of conflict. Often it is easy to argue, or debate issues we feel passionately about BUT which are a little distant from us. To argue about things we hold dear, with people we hold dear, will often cause considerable emotional upset. The fact is we are all unique individuals and therefore will see things differently. But arguing takes energy and frankly you will rarely change opinions through argument so accept that their stance is different from yours and do not waste energy trying to justify your opinions or decisions.

3 – Put in some boundaries

The thing is, your dreams, wishes and plans need a bit of nurturing and if you are forced into a situation where you end up having to defend or rationalise your dreams, then the time has come to limit how often you have to do that. I am not saying don’t see the person, but if seeing them saps you of energy to pursue your dreams, then either see them less, OR when you see them make sure that your plans are not up for discussion. There may be all sorts of reasons why they don’t see things  the same way that you do, and think that you shouldn’t go travelling, expand your business, re train, move house or whatever but if that is what you want to do then you need people around you who  can be positive about your plans.

4 – Cherish Your Dream

When faced with any kind of doubt it is easy to lose heart so make sure you spend time cherishing your own dreams and plans, especially in the face of negativity from others. How do you this? Start by reminding yourself why you have that dream in the first place, visualise what achieving it will mean for you, and keep on taking those steps you know you must in order to reach your goal. Also, take time to surround yourself with positive folk, people who are rooting for you to get where you want to go.

 5 – Take Action

A crucial part of achieving anything, pretty much, is actually doing something! Somehow activity sends a powerful message both to ourselves and others. It certainly is a good way to show the folk who doubt you that you are serious. But it also has a really positive impact on our own subconscious, our dreams are not just vague thoughts but real plans backed up by action. This creates a positive momentum.

6 – Learn from others

I am a firm believer that there is something to be learned from every experience, even the negative ones. So even if people doubt you, and even if you feel hurt by their lack of support or negativity there is still something to be learned.  If nothing else it can make you think about the way you respond to others and perhaps about ways you can explore things with others without being negative. In fact being negative rarely achieves anything – if you disagree with what someone is doing that’s absolutely your right, but to be negative is often a symptom of a desire to control others and that is rarely helpful. Even if, worst case scenario, the actions they take lead to unhappy consequences, it is their decision, providing of course they are adults of sound mind, so it is enough just to express doubts without being negative. How? Well remind them that it’s their decision and just raise issues you think they should maybe consider.

7 – What about me?

So the above points should help you to deal with negativity from others. But what if there is a little whisper, or even a loud shout, of negativity from your own subconscious? There are a number of ways to silence those inner critics.

• Rely on the truth, actually if you have decided to do it then probably you have the skills you need and if you don’t then you are definitely capable of learning them.
• Think positively! That means changing those thoughts – so fill your head with positive thoughts “I can do this”  “I have skills”, because the truth is, you are an awesome, unique individual.
• If you feel negative or downhearted then SMILE, even if you don’t feel like it, try it and honestly you will probably start to feel more positive.
• Take action, in the words of Vincent Van Gogh, “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint’, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced”. It’s worth noting that this works for anything not just painting!! I think Nike had the message – ‘just do it’.

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