Away With Worry
October 19, 2015
We all do it and we all know it doesn’t actually achieve much at all. There is a quote that says
“Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair – it gives you something to do but you doesn’t get you anywhere!” – well nowhere that’s positivethat’s for sure.
What worry does is to
- Keep us awake
- Fill our minds with all the outcomes we don’t want
- Set off a whole chain reaction so we start worrying about more and more things
- Stop us focussing on all the other good things
- Make it hard to concentrate
- Stop us enjoying life
So what on earth should we do about it – we all know it is very easy to SAY to others or ourselves ‘don’t worry’ but very hard to actually DO.
Here’s a 5 point plan to put an end to worry (if you want to!)
1. Verbalise specifically what it is you are worrying about – it is important to be really specific. The problem with our ‘worried’ thoughts is that they spread and that’s makes it hard to decide what exactly it is that we are worrying about. You can do this on your own but often it is helpful to chat to someone else about it
2. Think about the outcomes – a kind of ‘what’s the worst case scenario’ this helps you be even more specific about your worry – so for example is it that you don’t want to go for the interview because you hate interviews or is it that you really really need the job so you are worried that you won’t be successful. Getting clarity on the precise issue that is causing you to worry will help you bring it under control.
3. Take Action – if you can – so in the scenario above you could do some prep for the interview AND think about any other jobs you could apply for in case you aren’t successful. If there is no action you can take – perhaps it is an outcome beyond your control then go straight to the next step.
4. Manage your thoughts – we all know that if we try NOT to think about something – the upcoming interview for example – that is exactly what our thoughts keep coming back to – SO change that pattern. Set for yourself an alternative thought pathway and there are 2 options here –
EITHER simply think of something that is different and calming for you – for example imagine yourelf in a place of peace and happiness so choose a nice memory and every time you find your self thinking about ‘the interview’ or whatever switch to the memory – it takes effort at first but keep at it and you will find it gets easier.
OR think about the outcome YOU DO want – getting the job for example and put all your efforts into imagining and visualising what that would ‘look like’. Here try to be as detailed as possible really add the colour to your thoughts, imagine telling people about it, think about and imagine your first day in the new job, this is a rally good antidote to worry and this works even if you are worrying about someone else – just focus your thoughts on the positive – what would the GOOD outcome be rather than the negative which is usually what fills your head with worry.
5. Repeat the previous 4 steps – worry attracts worry so often you’ll feel like you’ve got one aspect under control then up pops another thing to worry about. So go through the steps again BUT if it keeps happening then actually you have probably got a mind set that is fuelling the worry – often worry stems from some of the subconscious fears and beliefs we have – so in the interview scenario a belief that you don’t deserve success or that you always mess things up. BUT even these deep seated mind sets CAN be changed. Scroll to previous blog post for details of a MIND SET WORKSHOP in November
You will notice that next to the title of the 5 point plan to put an end to worry – I put in brackets ‘if you want to’. Sadly like lots of things we can get into a bit of a habit so that worry becomes our default position – something is happening so e go into worry mode – or even nothing is worrying us and we worry about that. It sounds crazy but worry can become a bit like a comfort blanket – so you need to be prepared and want to let that go.
If you want to do away with worry it is possible – after all YOU are the only person who controls your thoughts.
Finally a few Quotes to think about
“Stop worrying about what can go wrong and get excited about what can go right!”
“Don’t think too much – you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place!”
“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of it’s troubles it empties today of it’s strength!”
Good Luck!
